Missed Diagnoses

During the recent influenza outbreak, news broadcasters switched into hilarious panic mode. Night after night they talked excitedly in the manner of newscasters in classic Japanese monster movies.
“Swine flu has been sighted outside your town and is headed your way! It will destroy you and your family! You must evacuate at once!”
From [...]

Minor Oracles

 
We certainly have it better than our ancestors of just two or three millenia ago.
Really.
They lived under governments which were poorly organized and given to inconsistent policies and illogical action. We have … wait a minute. Let me start again.
They lived at the mercy of the elements, risking disaster and death as a [...]

A Play for Sympathy

When I realized I was indisputably sick, I recognized the perfect opportunity to gain sympathy points from my wife.
“It hurts,” I said.  “A lot.  I think it’s pretty serious.”
“It’s an ear ache,” she said.
With the sympathy meter reading dangerously close to empty, I sought the advice of a qualified medical professional.  She confirmed that it [...]

Counting Calories

There was a time when I didn’t fear food. I ate with gusto and abandon (and occasionally a knife, fork, and napkin) without worrying about the consequences. That was before I understood calories.
Like many of the unpleasant realities of modern living – nuclear weapons, greenhouse gases, reality television, etc. – calories were discovered [...]

Three … Two … One … Contacts!

My life is a blur these days.
Really.
I’ve traded my reliable (but stodgy) glasses for less reliable (but far more exciting) contacts.  Like a lot of guys who try to trade up, I think I may have simply swapped one set of problems for another.
I slipped solidly into the geekdom at the age of ten when [...]